What it Could Be

On answering the question, "And what do you do?"

Owning a small business means occasionally taking the time to meet with other small business owners, so a group of us met on a lovely summer evening. The location was epic, on a summit surrounded by evergreens and gorgeous landscaping. Milling about with our drinks and business cards under bauble lights, the social hours passed pleasantly.

The “what do you do” question is of course naturally expected. And there I am always a little stumped. What do I do? The answer is prefaced with, “I’m the wife of Dr. Lamar, the chiropractor in town who’s been there for 26 years….” but that doesn’t answer what *I* am doing, other than fulfilling the role of wife. And that isn’t all I’m doing. Depending on the person asking, that may be enough of an answer, and I don’t press to give more information other than chiropractic, chiropractic, chiropractic. But interestingly, it usually doesn’t stop there, especially after I’m asked about children.

“We have nine,” I answer.

(pause and smile)

The gentleman is now peering over his glasses, “You yourself birthed nine children?”

“Why, yes I did.”

(pause and smile)

And—more often than you might think—the other person launches into a lengthy historical narrative of their own family. They are one of six children, or their grandparents had twelve children, or they always wanted more than the two they had, or their brother’s wife’s uncle’s best friend had nine. And the business of family takes center stage of the conversation until it satisfyingly wanes.

Later in the evening, after grilled pulled pork soft tacos and an easy walk on the trail systems to seek hidden beaver ponds, ripening blackberries, and nesting blue herons, we are all full of information about who does what for business and what business books are being read and how recent political garbage, I mean rules and regulations, are affecting our businesses. The sun is low and casting golden light upon the tall fir trees, and more personal stories and trials are coming out. Adult children who don’t talk to their parents, and their parents don’t even know where they are. Weight problems. Taking care of elderly parents with dementia. Moving.

At this point I might ask more questions. About food, healing, faith. They didn’t know real butter has vitamin D in it. They’re curious about herbs and how they can affect blood pressure. They haven’t considered finding a local church (but we’re back now to family history and their faithful great aunt or grandfather who pastored a small flock). And—just like that—I am more than a wife and mother, and what I “do” expands.

Because we are not what we do. We are who we are, fully human and blessed with life and opportunity in every morning we wake up to face a new day. We have a great God, who manages our affairs and give us grace when trials press. And what we do do every day—with our time, with our money, with our mouth—reveals us for who we really are and what we believe to be true (despite any objection). So, what do you do? What do I do?

My real answer is thus: I walk in the world as a stranger and a pilgrim, seeking to raise, grow, help, heal, educate, love, and bless others whom the Lord brings to my mind and path. I am strong in every weakness, and grateful not only for every breath I have, but for the life to come after I draw my last one. I am blessed and loved with an everlasting love, so I care about the lost, the lonely, and the burdened enough to offer to them Jesus.

This is what I am thinking, when I am asked, “So, what do you do?”

The sky blushes and we are all clinking our glasses into the sink and shaking hands, giving hugs, laughing and promising and pointing and waving. Would that we all could avoid media more often and gain our understandings of one another further in person with our own hearts and brains making assessments. Asking more questions in sincerity and curiousity and without accusation and gotchas. Sharing walks and drinks and personal histories. What a more beautiful world—at least for an evening—it could be.

If you’re looking for a simpler, more purposeful life outside of the rule of technology, perhaps you can glean from my experimentations in seeking a more present life. Learn more about the book (and how to get it) by clicking on its image.