In the First Place

Five prompts from a YTer to cultivate awareness

The algorithm still works on me. I know, because while getting in my brisk walk on the treadmill, I found an interesting YouTuber who discusses things like the death of intelligence and how we are all addicted to the “casino in our pockets”. I’ve only watched a couple videos, but he did give five interesting prompts that I considered in my attempt to be more aware and present.

Pick one item that makes you feel the most pathetic and throw it out.

I threw away my makeup brushes. They were nice brushes: bamboo, soft, and angled perfectly for applying makeup. But every morning as I assess my face, I care less for powders that will merely sink into my wrinkles and highlight them even more. No powders means no brushes are needed. While I was at it, I threw out several tubs and bottles of skincare. I realized these things were making me feel the most pathetic about aging so I threw them out.

My makeup routine is fairly minimal now. I like adding a tint, naturally colored with rose and elderberry, to my cheeks and lids. It’s a long way from color matching my outfits in the 1980’s with blue or pink or plum eye shadows and mascaras to match. And because my long lashes have thinned, I also use a thickening mascara. If I have to go out someplace a little dressy, I will use a blurring foundation first and add a little eyeliner and liquid lipstick. My makeup box will more than likely continue to shrink as the years go by. Not because I won’t have more “need” (according to what/whoever) but because I won’t care to bother at all.

Stop buying things for the person you want to be; buy for the person you are now.

I closed up my online herbal practice. Although the website and set up was very easy and useful, I realized that if I wanted to do more than break even, I would need to take on more clients. This, I am unwilling to do. My plate is full at home, and adding more clients and growing my business means less time during the day for menu planning, baking sourdough bread, homeschooling, time with friends, and reading good books to grow my intellect. I didn’t want to have to write PRESENT, Volume Two: how a woman learned nothing from volume one and took on a side business that distracted her from her Primary Job.

I had to stop trying to be the person I thought I should be (grow your practice! increase your clientele! make more money!), but instead embrace the person I am: one who enjoys a small handful of in-person clients and a ready waitlist more than working to grow a business outside of my home and parenting responsibilities.

Sit with the emptiness

My first day out with the Light Phone made me a little nervous to leave my smartphone at home. I had only transferred the contacts most important to me, figuring that as other people texted me, I could always add them again. I went from almost 300 contacts to less than 40.

I rediscovered Mapquest and printed directions before I left. My Light Phone does have the option to have directions, but I want to see if I can regain my sense of direction and confidence. I also brought along my camera (also available for LP III, but I declined that, too), my Hobonichi Techo planner/calendar, and small notebook.

I got to my destination fine.

Since then, I’ve had opportunity to be truly bored (I ended up reading a book I had stashed in my bag), and to explain why I couldn’t get pictures on my phone anymore. Actually, all photos and links get forwarded to my email, so when I have time to sit at my computer, that is where I take care of all of the extras. It feels better than the drip drip drip throughout my day.

One funny thing happened yesterday. I was at the fishmonger discussing what kinds of seafood would make for a great fish pie. He was utterly confused and thought it sounded impossible. I immediately reached for my phone to search for a recipe, forgetting I had no internet access whatsoever. Whoops! I then had to “sit with the emptiness” of not having an immediate answer. I actually had to wonder, think with my own brain, and come up with something on my own. I find it ridiculous that this is so rare, I had to italicize that last sentence. The wheels therein are a little rusty!

It made sense to me to choose non-oily fish: rockfish, cod, and a small touch of crab. That night, I made the pie with carrots, celery, new potatoes, peas, and onion with a sauce consisting of white wine and vegetable broth. I added the flour dusted and chopped seafood, and topped it all off with some leftover phyllo I had in the fridge.

It was delicious.

Unfollow anyone who sells you the idea of more.

Also recently, I went online, shopping to refresh my makeup (you do know that it expires after a time, yes?). I almost bought the fragrance offered on the site. The blend sounded so lovely and the jar was so pretty! I checked all of the ingredients and added it to the cart (argh, “add to cart” got me again!) along with my mascara. Except I don’t hardly wear fragrance, ever, unless it is simply a couple drops of essential oil. Plus, I didn’t even get to smell it ahead of time!

What was I thinking?! I would carry a nice scent? Instead of…no scent? I don’t even like it when other people have overpowering and nauseating fragrances. But once I found myself on a website for just one little thing, it was far too easy to add just whatever more to gain that free shipping or extra dopamine zing. I suddenly somehow felt that the person I wanted to be was someone who used fragrance, and it hadn’t even crossed my mind a half hour beforehand.

I bought my one mascara and used my junk email address to get their inevitable notifications. Last time I looked, I had over 34,000 marketing emails in that box.

Redefine wealth.

What a great prompt. It reminds me of the one that asks, “What does success look like?” Below is my list in no particular order:

• a heavenly Father who loves to hear my prayers and often enough reveals to me the ever surprising ways He delights to answer them

• expanded time and space

• mental quiet, wonderment, curiosity, boredom

• relationships, intelligent conversation

• time in nature, gardening, learning to read creation’s cues

• fresh food, either from my garden or from the farmers I personally know

• clean water to drink

• snuggles from my children, reading aloud to them

• time in the Word (just discovered the Horner method, so good!)

• lounging with a loved one, just watching the sunset

• a warm sunny day, the sunshine on my skin, in my hair, in my eyes!

• friends who make me laugh, wipe my tears, hug me hard and pray for me

• digging in my garden and finding even more earthworm activity than last year

• riding a horse, smelling its mane, stroking its nose, hearing its nicker

• a good night’s sleep, uninterrupted, early to bed, early to rise

• listening to live music, even if it’s just one of my kids on her ukelele

• supplies to play in my art journal, knit a new sweater, or blend a fresh batch of herbal tea

• healthy and mobile enough to do my daily work

• the Holy Spirit who cheers and guides me every day

• standing in the midst of my local congregation singing all the verses of any hymn

• getting lost in a great book and having more books in the wings to read

• fresh baked sourdough bread with a thick slab of butter on top

• chocolate chip cookies from the oven

• my thick and cozy warm sweatshirt

• the ability to hear birdsong, frogs, the wind through the evergreens, the ocean’s tide

• operational appliances, especially the washer and dryer

• running hot water

• electric power that (mostly) stays on

• long drives with the window rolled down and the only sound being the tires along the road

• a mug that fits perfectly in hand, with hot herbal or coffee goodness inside

Making this list reminded me of proverbs 30:8-9 Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the LORD? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.

I find using prompts very helpful in my thinking and journaling, and I was thankful for these. If you, too, find prompts helpful in self-reflection and are yearning for a more simple, quiet, peaceable and present lifestyle, join our paid subscribers to get a weekly prompt in the chat. We’ve had 66 prompts thus far. It’s not adding “one more thing” to do; it’s digging into what those things actually need to be in the first place.

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